Legacy of Love

When I started this blog I never intended to share a lot of personal stories, but recently the events in my life have been so closely linked with the spiritual that I’ve found it appropriate to share them.

I spent last night in the hospital, unfortunately it seems we just cannot stay away from them. Last night after church my Grandma had a massive stroke. Even though my Grandma is 85, it’s still devastating to watch someone you love and has loved you so much be incapacitated so completely. She just doesn’t look the same, even though she still knows who I am, she is debilitated to the point that “normal” will never exist again. As I was watching her last night I was thinking of portrait of unconditional love she has been in my life. She has loved me constantly no matter the situation; now that I’m older I realize that kind of love is rare.

While I was sitting in the waiting room, I began to think of the love of my mother. She was the one who called the ambulance, held my Grandma’s hand, and has made all the tough decisions. Yet I don’t think this is the complete picture of her love. Many people swoop in to help in a time of crisis. While my mother has been a present during every problem, she has shown her love to my Grandma in a consistent daily way. Caring for an aging parent is somewhat similar to a caring for a child, it is just much more difficult. Those of you who have cared for a parent understand this. With a child you discipline them, you can pick them up and carry them where they need to go. It’s a lot of work to care for a young child, but you generally get a good return on your investment, an adult child you can watch mature and grow. As you care for an aging parent, you pour your life into them like a child, but you do not have the same return on your time. Instead of watching a life begin fresh, you are watching one end. Even if the parent is saved, the process and result are heart-wrenching and time consuming. Through wathcing my mom care for my Grandma, I have seen real love displayed. She is my human example of 1 Corinthians 13.

Mom has been patient when my Grandma has been sick or just in a bad mood. She has waited for her as she tried on clothes in the dressing room , or wanted to read long forwards in her e-mail.

Mom has been kind to my Grandma in every way. Mom has driven her to visit her friends for her birthday. She has taken her on trips to visit things my Grandma wants to see.

Mom is never jealous of the attention my Grandma gets. I think at times it is hard to be the caretaker for someone because you are often overlooked for your efforts. Mom has never seemed bothered by her lack of attention.

Mom has never been rude to my Grandma. Even though my mom has assumed more of a caretaker mode, she still treats my Grandma with the respect she deserves as her mother.

Mom has put off many plans and aspirations to take care of my Grandma. My Mom loves to be involved in church but has put that somewhat on the backburner to make Grandma a priority. My Mom loves to travel, and was supposed to be on a trip this weekend, but she did not go because she knew my Grandma wasn’t feeling well. Mom has been selfless.

Mom has not become angry when things have not gone her way. She has put it behind her and moved on with her day.

Mom has bore all my Grandma’s burdens and done her best to help. Mom has believed in God and hoped for the best with my Grandma. She has maintained a positive attitude. She integrated Grandma into her world, she did not expect my Grandma to change to make her life easier. My Mom has endured all hardship because she has made the daily choice to love.

I could say the same kinds of things about my Grandma, because she has passed on a legacy of true love to my Mom.

Today the promise of Proverbs 31 has been fulfilled for my mother: