A Woman’s Influence
In my never-ending search to discover women and their importance in Scripture, another peculiar idea came to mind, influence. Over and over again in the Bible tells stories of women influencing their husbands for good and evil. The first time I thought of this was a mention of Solomon in Nehemiah 13: 26 “He was loved by his God, and God made him king over all Israel, but even he was led into sin by strange women.” I had never really considered the fact that Solomon turned his heart from God because of his marriages. In 1 Kings 11: 4 we see that the wives “turned his heart toward other gods”. Now, it was Solomon’s choice to indulge in his wives’ idolatry, and therefore his sin, but this shows me the power of a wife’s influence over her husband’s decisions.In Proverbs we see many references to “strange women”. This can be translated as adulteress, but it is also interpreted as foreigner. Solomon’s book of Proverbs is a way of teaching his son. I find it fascinating that he warns his son over and over again about the trap of strange women. I wonder if this was out of an awareness he had of his own failing in this area. He warns him of the flattery of strange women, that they are a deep pit. He knew the dangers because he had experienced the consequences of marrying and listening to women who were not godly. The book ends with a proverb to Lemuel describing the “perfect” woman. Who a man marries has a profound impact on his life and decision-making.
Even in the beginning of the Bible, Eve was deceived and Adam chose to sin with full knowledge of what he was doing. Again, we see the great influence of a wife over her husband. It was Adam’s choice, but Eve’s influence led him in the path of sin.Esther was a very influential wife. She could not make decisions independent of her husband, but she did influence him for good. She prayed, she fasted and the Lord used her influence to save his people. Now, Ahaseurus was not a godly man, but he was a man who was blessed to have a godly wife. She used her influence for good.
In the New Testament the Christian wife is instructed to try to win her husband to Christ through her godly example. Paul gives this command specifically to women. I believe Paul was very in tune with the power a wife has over her husband. Have you ever really contemplated the fact that it is just through her godly conduct that her husband would be won to Christ? It doesn’t say she was to force him to pray or read the Bible. She was to be a Godly wife, submissive, respectful, and loving. The husband is to be won by her lifestyle. That is an incredible ministry and responsibility that every woman married to an unsaved man has.Why does this matter to me as a wife? Isn’t this a man’s concern? These warnings about strange women are to men. Men are to beware of ungodly, adulterous, and idolatrous women. The reason it is of interest to me is that if ungodly women had such a dramatic impact, wouldn’t a godly woman have a dramatic effect in a positive way? As a woman I can take my responsibility to be a good influence seriously. It is sobering to think that my influence as a woman has such a distinct influence on my husband. My sin and attitude impact him greatly. While a woman should not make decisions for her husband, she should be constantly aware that her attitude is shaping her husband’s opinion about life and choices he must make.
There are different types of women. There is no way I could list them all in this short essay, but consider the following types of women.A whiny woman, the one who complains all the time about money, her life, and other people is a drain on her husband. Through her attitude she is telling her husband that she is discontent, and he is to blame. She may not think that her actions have that effect, but indeed they do. She brings her husband down, and then they are both brought low. I don’t know of anyone who makes wise decisions while they are whining or listening to a whiner. A discontented woman is usually selfish, and not working toward a happy and productive marriage. Instead of putting her focus on the Lord and her husband, she has turned her gaze inward. Although she may be unaware of her impact on the marriage, she may even influence her husband to put all his effort into pleasing her selfish desires and not focusing his heart on serving God. I have bad news for this whiny wife, the more her husband takes his focus off the Lord, the more poor decisions he will make, and her life will probably get worse rather than better.
Contrast the whiny woman with a happy thankful wife. She is an encouragement to her husband. Her joy brings her husband’s spirit high. Her joy is truly contagious. It is so hard to be around someone who is happy and not become happy yourself. As a wife you can be a joy, and share joy with your husband.
Better still is a woman who is joyful and submissive, one who is respectful and loving toward her husband. She will have the greatest positive influence, because she is following the command of the Lord. It’s when we start to do our own will that we get into trouble. While she is submitting to the Lord and her husband; she is showing him the respect he so desperately desires. By respecting her husband, she gives him the confidence he needs. She has that power to help her husband.
While we can (hopefully) agree that our influence matters, what are we to do about it? How can we actually put our influence to good work instead of bad? The most important thing we can do is pray. So many times we pray for the Lord to do quick fixes through out the day. I challenge you to pray thoughtfully, and using Scripture. The Lord promises to hear and answer our prayers. I believe strongly that if the Bible tells us to be submissive, loving wives, then it is His will for us. If it is His will for us, then I have confidence that He will answer your prayers for your marriage with a resounding “Yes!” Pray that the Lord will show you areas where you cause your husband to stumble. Pray that your life and attitude would be positive and Christ- honoring. Ask the Lord to make your spirit joyful. Right with praying comes reading the Word of God. Read His Word looking for truth. Read His Word diligently, and put into practice what it says. Commit the Word of the Lord to your heart. The Word is powerful and will encourage you in your life and marriage.
The only thing left to do is put into practice right living: encourage your husband, don’t complain about your life, kids, or friends, don’t second guess his decisions – respect them, be aware of your words and actions. When we pray, read, and then do, we will see the Lord work. I hope and pray whoever reads this is able to influence their husband for good and not evil
