Loving Through Silence

I love words, whether I’m writing or speaking, words come very naturally. Recently, I’ve been studying the book of Job. His friends caused him a lot of trouble. Here is poor Job, devastated by his loss, the death of all his children. His friends come with the intention of speaking what they perceive to be truth, but in the process they bring Job down deeper in his despair. Often they are speaking right theology but to the wrong person at the wrong time. While they have good intentions with their words that did not minimize the negative impact they had on Job. As I think about Job’s friends, I’m afraid I would have been one of them. I would desperately want to comfort or point him in the right direction, but would probably do more harm than good.

Even though his friends really end up causing Job more pain, they really started out well. The Bible tells us that these friends came from far distances. They come all this way and find Job, covered in boils and sitting in ashes. He was not only miserable spiritually, but he was miserable physically as well. These friends came and sat in the ashes with Job. They did not sit there for a minute and then start into their diatribes. No, they sat there for 7 days.

Seven silent days in horrible surroundings; I cannot imagine being silent for 7 minutes let alone days. Yet, that is what his friends did. They waited for Job to speak. How could Job deny the true friendship of these men after they had endured with him through his suffering? Would we as busy Americans be able to stop for 7 days to just sit with a friend? No Blackberry, no laptop, no TV, no books; just silent comfort to a friend in mourning. It’s hard to conceive of it, but these men stopped their lives for a friend. I feel immense conviction when I stop and think about this loving act.

I’m not against using words to encourage, convict, or discuss. I’m just burdened with the idea that maybe I’m too quick to judge what is going on in someone else’s life. I’m too quick to label something without all the facts. That’s what Job’s friends did. They saw what they thought was consequence for sin when it was not. Unless someone has committed a fault against me personally, I really have no reason to call them to repentance for wrongs I think could have been committed.

While words are wonderful, sometimes the words “I love you and I’m praying for you” are enough when someone is hurting. Through notes, prayers, meals, and hugs we can show immense love through our silence.