A Good Witch

I love being in musical theatre. I’ve loved acting and singing from a young age. My parents would tell you that I got my first taste and love for the stage at the age of 2. It was my first time to sing with the little kids in the Christmas program. The Sunday School teacher put me on one of the back rows of the risers. Well once we started singing I pushed my way through the other kids to the front and stood below the mic and just held on to the bar and tried to sing right into it. My parents were mortified and I was in love.

So, now that I’m an adult I still like to think about acting and singing. On Sunday I always look at the audition section and think about what I would sing or what part I would want to be. I know, I have now shared another small piece of my weirdness with the world.

During my Sunday ritual a couple of weeks ago I noticed that there would be auditions for “The Wizard of Oz” with a local community theatre. I immediately thought I could be Glinda the Good Witch. Now that I’m a mother I thought I could really understand that role. Plus it’s a great part but not a main role. I figured I would have the time to do that. I also thought Ethan (4) could be a munchkin in the production and we could do this activity together. I had the perfect plan. After all these years of wanting to get back into musical theatre I knew this was my time to get back into the scene.

So this week I was excited to audition. I watched YouTube videos of the Good Witch and I was ready. Yet tonight before I was about to leave I started feeling like I wasn’t going to have the time to commit to it. I talked to Daniel (my husband) and he really thought I should go try out and see what exactly was involved. So I drove over there and I still just felt unsettled. I started to pray that the Lord would clearly open or close this door for me. It might seem silly to pray about something like a low budget community theatre play but that’s what I did.

I got there, filled out the paperwork and looked over rehearsal schedule.

Instant disappointment.

I knew I could not audition for this play because I cannot commit to the rehearsal schedule. I start to feel bad for myself. “Why do I have to be a work-week-widow?” Why can’t anything ever work out for me? Why can’t I do something that makes me happy?”

Self-pity was creeping in and taking over, and then I remembered my prayer. The Lord had shown me something clearly. Yes, the answer was “No” but it was still a clear answer. I wasn’t left wondering what to do. I wasn’t waffling in my decision. I knew what to do. The Lord heard me and He answered.

The verses from Ecclesiastes came to mind “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace.”

This just isn’t the time for me. That doesn’t mean the time won’t come again, but that’s hard to keep in perspective when I’m disappointed. Yet it’s true. Life is in a constant flux of phases. I will probably be able to be in a play next year but I can’t focus on what might be. I have to enjoy the time that is today. I must redeem the time like it is a gift. There is no point in self-pity. It just makes me, well, pitiful. And who wants to live like that?

I won’t be playing Glinda the Good Witch in the Wizard of Oz, but maybe my kids won’t mind if I pretend to be the Good Witch here at my own personal Oz.