Its Personal
“Don’t take it personally”
I cannot tell you how many books, and articles I’ve read that tell me again and again that when my child disobeys “its not personal”. It sure seems personal though. I mean, I tell my child to stop, he looks at me, and then proceeds to disobey.
Sometimes it’s worse. I tell my child to obey, he stops, and then pitches a huge fit in the middle of the store. Kicking and screaming all the way to the car. It’s upsetting, it hurts my feelings, and it seems from all appearances that he is doing it to me
It feels personal. It seems as though my child is defying me. Personally.
So for these reasons every time I hear that tales of “its not personal” I mentally dismiss it straightaway.
Then I had a thought.
I know the rules God has for me. They are clearly written in His Word. A few come to mind straightaway:
Love God.
Love people.
Obey God’s Word.
Hmm. I disobey all the time. Sometimes thoughtlessly. Sometimes in clear defiance of what I know is right.
This has caused me to reflect on my motivations, “Am I actually sinning to hurt God personally”. Is that seriously in my thought process? The answer for me is no. I’m not consciously thinking “how can I offend God?” or “now I’ve really made God mad!”
Yet even though I may not be trying to hurt God’s heart, I do.
The Bible tells us to grieve not the Holy Spirit. I take this to mean that my sinful actions cause Him grief. Just as the behavior of my children causes me grief, as a child of God I do the same thing. I grieve my Father.
I’ve been convicted over the past few weeks as I’ve thought about how I offend my Creator, that my actions cause His Spirit grief. When I choose sin, I am pleasing myself, with no respect for the Father who sent His Son to die for me. Just because I’m not intentionally trying to grieve Him, it doesn’t change the fact that I am.
Tania Z
656 days ago
I think about this perspective quite often. The fact that I do things maybe without intention, but they MUST hurt God. “That which I don’t want to do, I end up doing” again and again. The apostle Paul dealt with this and so do I. Many times remembering this helps me not to “take personally” what my kids say and do because it does “offends” me. It shouldn’t but it does offend me. Unfortunately, the thought that tones me down comes in a little too late or shall we say – comes after my reaction to them.
Remember the story of the man that owed that huge sum of money and yet he debt was forgiven? Then he walks home and runs into someone who owed him money (a far lesser amount) but yet he did not forgive the debt and went af far as to beginning to strangle the debtor. (Sorry for my lack of specifics, but hope the gist is there.) Well, I think sometimes we do this subconsiouly to our kids. God has forgiven us for a HUGE amount of sins. God forgives us AND loves us AND remains patient with us. As moms, our patience is tested with our kids but we have to forgive, forgive, and forgive, and ask God to help us (daily) not take it personally.
Grace Santoso
521 days ago
Thank you.
this article inspire me a lot.