Archive for the ‘Influence’ category

A Woman’s Influence

October 1st, 2008

In my never-ending search to discover women and their importance in Scripture, another peculiar idea came to mind, influence. Over and over again in the Bible tells stories of women influencing their husbands for good and evil. The first time I thought of this was a mention of Solomon in Nehemiah 13: 26 “He was loved by his God, and God made him king over all Israel, but even he was led into sin by strange women.” I had never really considered the fact that Solomon turned his heart from God because of his marriages. In 1 Kings 11: 4 we see that the wives “turned his heart toward other gods”. Now, it was Solomon’s choice to indulge in his wives’ idolatry, and therefore his sin, but this shows me the power of a wife’s influence over her husband’s decisions.In Proverbs we see many references to “strange women”. This can be translated as adulteress, but it is also interpreted as foreigner. Solomon’s book of Proverbs is a way of teaching his son. I find it fascinating that he warns his son over and over again about the trap of strange women. I wonder if this was out of an awareness he had of his own failing in this area. He warns him of the flattery of strange women, that they are a deep pit. He knew the dangers because he had experienced the consequences of marrying and listening to women who were not godly. The book ends with a proverb to Lemuel describing the “perfect” woman. Who a man marries has a profound impact on his life and decision-making.

Even in the beginning of the Bible, Eve was deceived and Adam chose to sin with full knowledge of what he was doing. Again, we see the great influence of a wife over her husband. It was Adam’s choice, but Eve’s influence led him in the path of sin.Esther was a very influential wife. She could not make decisions independent of her husband, but she did influence him for good. She prayed, she fasted and the Lord used her influence to save his people. Now, Ahaseurus was not a godly man, but he was a man who was blessed to have a godly wife. She used her influence for good.

In the New Testament the Christian wife is instructed to try to win her husband to Christ through her godly example. Paul gives this command specifically to women. I believe Paul was very in tune with the power a wife has over her husband. Have you ever really contemplated the fact that it is just through her godly conduct that her husband would be won to Christ? It doesn’t say she was to force him to pray or read the Bible. She was to be a Godly wife, submissive, respectful, and loving. The husband is to be won by her lifestyle. That is an incredible ministry and responsibility that every woman married to an unsaved man has.Why does this matter to me as a wife? Isn’t this a man’s concern? These warnings about strange women are to men. Men are to beware of ungodly, adulterous, and idolatrous women. The reason it is of interest to me is that if ungodly women had such a dramatic impact, wouldn’t a godly woman have a dramatic effect in a positive way? As a woman I can take my responsibility to be a good influence seriously. It is sobering to think that my influence as a woman has such a distinct influence on my husband. My sin and attitude impact him greatly. While a woman should not make decisions for her husband, she should be constantly aware that her attitude is shaping her husband’s opinion about life and choices he must make.

There are different types of women. There is no way I could list them all in this short essay, but consider the following types of women.A whiny woman, the one who complains all the time about money, her life, and other people is a drain on her husband. Through her attitude she is telling her husband that she is discontent, and he is to blame. She may not think that her actions have that effect, but indeed they do. She brings her husband down, and then they are both brought low. I don’t know of anyone who makes wise decisions while they are whining or listening to a whiner. A discontented woman is usually selfish, and not working toward a happy and productive marriage. Instead of putting her focus on the Lord and her husband, she has turned her gaze inward. Although she may be unaware of her impact on the marriage, she may even influence her husband to put all his effort into pleasing her selfish desires and not focusing his heart on serving God. I have bad news for this whiny wife, the more her husband takes his focus off the Lord, the more poor decisions he will make, and her life will probably get worse rather than better.

Contrast the whiny woman with a happy thankful wife. She is an encouragement to her husband. Her joy brings her husband’s spirit high. Her joy is truly contagious. It is so hard to be around someone who is happy and not become happy yourself. As a wife you can be a joy, and share joy with your husband.

Better still is a woman who is joyful and submissive, one who is respectful and loving toward her husband. She will have the greatest positive influence, because she is following the command of the Lord. It’s when we start to do our own will that we get into trouble. While she is submitting to the Lord and her husband; she is showing him the respect he so desperately desires. By respecting her husband, she gives him the confidence he needs. She has that power to help her husband.

While we can (hopefully) agree that our influence matters, what are we to do about it? How can we actually put our influence to good work instead of bad? The most important thing we can do is pray. So many times we pray for the Lord to do quick fixes through out the day. I challenge you to pray thoughtfully, and using Scripture. The Lord promises to hear and answer our prayers. I believe strongly that if the Bible tells us to be submissive, loving wives, then it is His will for us. If it is His will for us, then I have confidence that He will answer your prayers for your marriage with a resounding “Yes!” Pray that the Lord will show you areas where you cause your husband to stumble. Pray that your life and attitude would be positive and Christ- honoring. Ask the Lord to make your spirit joyful. Right with praying comes reading the Word of God. Read His Word looking for truth. Read His Word diligently, and put into practice what it says. Commit the Word of the Lord to your heart. The Word is powerful and will encourage you in your life and marriage.

The only thing left to do is put into practice right living: encourage your husband, don’t complain about your life, kids, or friends, don’t second guess his decisions – respect them, be aware of your words and actions. When we pray, read, and then do, we will see the Lord work. I hope and pray whoever reads this is able to influence their husband for good and not evil

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Posted in Influence, Love, Women

Remembering 9/11…

September 11th, 2008

Seven years ago America changed forever. Never again would we feel completely secure in our nation. The safety we felt for decades was gone. We became tragically aware that people living and enjoying the luxuries of this country actually hate it and wish to destroy it. The country that once felt invincible, was suddenly quite vulnerable.

The truth is that from the beginning of nations, there has been conflict. The United States was attacked and while it is tragic, it is not new.

When you read the Bible, particularly the Old Testament, it becomes very clear that times of peace and war were in constant flow. Where good exists, evil wishes to destroy it. After these conflicts God’s people would build an altar at times to remember what happened. It seems to me to be much like the memorials we build today. The people of Israel, even when they were in sin, would endure the difficulty and eventually turn their hearts to Lord for their salvation. They realized that the evil was greater then themselves and they would turn to the only One who can destroy evil forever.

In Deuteronomy, Moses instructs parents to remind their children of the difficult times in Egypt so they appreciate the peace and happiness they enjoy. As parents we should remember the attacks on our country and do our best to impress those things into the minds of our children.

While our country’s leaders can make the best decisions possible, and aggressively try to fight evil, they cannot stop evil from existence. The difference is that those of us who were around on September 11, have had a personal experience with what terrorism can bring.

When I think of the events of that day I am motivated to impact the world I in which I live. I think of the souls that were lost. All who died were separated from their earthly families, but many separated from God for all eternity. In a moment they were gone and forever lost. Who we influence today for Christ has an eternal impact. We must not miss these opportunities to share the Gospel with those around us.

I’m also motivated to be involved with my community and country. One thing we all have is time. Time to speak against evil and promote good. We must not allow evil to triumph while we remain quietly on the sidelines. Moses told the Pharaoh to let the people go. Samuel told David of the wickedness in his life. Esther told Ahashuerus of the planned annihilation of her people. They are biblical examples of people who the Lord used to change societies and leaders back to Him.

I am grateful to live in the United States, where I am free. Where I can write or speak of the Lord with no fear for my life. It is not only a blessing from the Lord, but a gift.

Redeeming the time because the days are evil.

Thankful that God’s word is true — Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice: and let men say among the nations, The LORD reigneth.

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Posted in Influence, Motherhood

Deborah: God’s Choice for Leadership

July 14th, 2008

There are times when the Lord chooses to use women in positions of leadership to accomplish His will.

We find Deborah in the days when judges ruled Israel. After the death of Joshua the people of Israel turn to wickedness. They worship false gods and turn their back on God and His commandments. Consequently the Lord gives the people to foreign lands and nations because of their sin “Then the LORD raised up judges, who saved them out of the hand of those who plundered them… Whenever the LORD raised up judges for them, the LORD was with the judge, and he saved them from the hand of their enemies all the days of the judge.” ( Judges 2:11-16)We see the Lord work through the judges He chose to use to answer the prayers of His people.

In Judges 4 we see the oppressive enemy of Israel, Jabin of Canaan. During this period, Deborah was the judge in Israel. The Bible tells us that she was a prophetess and that she was married to a man named Lappidoth. It is interesting to me that the Bible does not tell us what her husband did, or if he had any part in ministry or politics at all. This was her specific calling and task. I have read and heard other people state that the reason God used Deborah was because there weren’t any good men. That theory just does not hold water for me. If the Lord specifically chose whom to lift up as the leader, He could have given power to a man. God chose Deborah because He wanted her for this task.

As the story progresses, she sends for Barak. She is aware of what God has called him to do, yet he is hesitant and fearful. After all, Jabin and Sisera were cruel and evil enemies, it was natural to fear them. However, Barak’s faith in God was weak, and he makes a deal with Deborah that he will obey God if she will go with him. I’m convicted when I read this. I think I could have been like Barak; even though the Lord’s command to him was clear “Go, gather your men at Mount Tabor, taking 10,000 men from the tribes of Naphtali and Zebulun? And I will draw out Sisera, the general of Jabin’s army, to meet you at the river Kishon with his chariots and his multitude, and I will deliver him into your hand?” Even though the Lord had promised him victory he was still hesitant. It’s the same way for us today. The Lord has given us promises in His Word, and given us the Holy Spirit to guide us. Yet when His will is clear in our lives, we often let our flesh rule, and allow our fears to keep us from His plan.

Deborah agrees to go with Barak on the condition that Sisera will fall by the hand of a woman. So they go gather the 10,000 men and head to Mount Tabor. Here we see some more of Deborah’s personality coming through when she exclaims to Barak “Up! For this is the day in which the LORD has given Sisera into your hand. Does not the LORD go out before you?” She was the motivation behind Barak’s follow-through. Even though I’m not a ruler of anything, motivating others to a task is a job women commonly participate in. I cannot go to school for my son, learn to read for him, do his homework, or play with his friends, but I can motivate him to get busy! As mothers we cannot do the work for our kids, but we can go with them, and help them along the way.

Of course the Lord kept His promise to Barak, “And the LORD routed Sisera and all his chariots and all his army before Barak by the edge of the sword…and all the army of Sisera fell by the edge of the sword; not a man was left.” The Lord had the victory in this battle, and used Barak and Deborah to do His will.

What challenges are you facing today that seem overwhelming? Do you have an enemy who you feel is waiting to attack? If you are struggling with some pain or fear, look to the Lord for help. Read His Word, pray and live in His strength.

Maybe you are a Deborah, and you need to influence or motivate someone around you. When words of encouragement for someone are in your heart and mind, say them out loud. If the Lord has called you to encourage someone else in their task, do not fail to do His will.

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Posted in Deborah, Influence, Leadership, Motherhood, Prayer and Fasting, Women

Helping the Helpless

July 9th, 2008
A while back, I was working as a court reporter for the “Unlocking Doors” Seminar for the department of Housing and Urban Development. This is a federal organization that focuses on housing options for lower income families. The senior project manager was there. She came to Greenville, all because of one man, the preacher of a Mega Church in my community. She gets up in front of 75 people and lauds the work he is doing for the homeless and single mothers of our community. Now, I start to look the room over, there are businessmen and women from all areas of life. Three or four churches are represented, several banks, contractors, and government sponsored groups, all there to think of creative ways to help the homeless and poor in my community. There could have been a fundamental business man or woman there, and I was unaware. While there were clearly Christians present, there was not one Fundamental church represented. I started to feel embarrassment and shame.

I have always had the impression that a Mega Church is just large because of its massive production, rambunctious preaching, singing, dancing, and etc. I think all of those aspects play into that large of a membership, but I am convinced having sat through a 5 hour meeting and having eaten lunch with the honored preacher, that the excitement of their services is not their only appeal. Eighty percent of their 10,000 members are low income. Single mothers. Minorities. There is significance in that demographic. They have buses that go out into the inner city, they pick up people and give them practical training. They have partnered with Greenville Tech and were able to give out 200 scholarships last year to people who would not have otherwise been able to get any type of training. They have started a housing program where they work with people to fix their credit scores, save money, and create home ownership opportunities. I was shocked. I also became aware of why that church has 10,000 members. They are quite clearly known for the charitable work they do for our community.

Where are we?

I just feel shame when I see no evidence of our fundamentalism in the truly needy parts of town. Am I really that self involved and ignorant to the needs of others? The simple answer is yes. I currently know one single mother, and to be honest, I have not been that good of a friend to her. James 1:27 will not leave my mind “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.” I feel as fundamentalists we have singular focus on the second half of this verse. A hallmark of our brand of religion is remaining separated from the world; in contrast, we have a long way to go before we can say we have pure religion that is undefiled before God.

What can be done?

We can pray for opportunities to present themselves. We can pray specifically that the Lord would put people and circumstances in our lives that would allow us to minister. I would also like to see Christians united in their love of Christ and for that love outpoured on the people around them. With the wealth of knowledge and abilities within our churches we have no excuse for ignoring the people around us. It is not enough to simply throw money at these issues; time and commitment are necessary as well. Practically speaking, what about GED classes, financial and budgeting advice for single mothers, delivery of food to local people who really need it. The possibilities are endless.

To truly love all people we must do more than just say the words. We must follow Christ’s example and meet these souls with the truth of the Gospel. Christ repeatedly met physical needs during His earthly ministry. People should know without question that we are Christian’s because of our “good works” they should be part of our identity.

I applaud those around me who are looking to serve those outside their usual sphere of comfort, and I encourage those of us (me) who are not actively serving the needy around us to get out there and serve, befriend, and love.

“Blessed is he that considereth the poor”

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Posted in Influence, Love

The Love of Naomi

April 14th, 2008

It is impossible to live a life without some sadness, pain, and depression. Everyone goes through heartache, the times when you feel so black inside that you feel nothing will lighten your spirit. Maybe you feel overwhelmed by loneliness, you may feel there is no one that cares for or understands you. All of these feelings can be caused by many of life’s circumstances, arguments with a spouse or child, moving away from family and friends, wounds from a friend, and especially the death of a loved one. During these times of hardship it is impossible not to feel sadness or grief. God made us emotional. Yet, even in our times of despair, our love for God and people can remain in tact.

Naomi was a woman who loved deeply even through her personal grief. The book of Ruth begins with her family in crisis. Elimelech, Naomi, and their sons are forced to leave their homeland because of a famine. Can you imagine that? When I read the first verse of this story I think of Hurricane Katrina; thousands of families displaced because of horrendous circumstances. They had to leave their homes, leave their friends and start over with nothing. Think of the pain Naomi experienced. Not only did she have to leave everything familiar behind, but her husband took her to the land of Moab. The Israelites knew they were not to have anything to do with Moab, the Lord had made this command clear. Yet, this is where Elimelech takes his family. While there Elimelech dies and Naomi is left a widow. Not only was there great personal grief with losing a spouse, but in her day, the loss of a husband meant loss of security. Life is always difficult for widows, but for a widow in this time period it was particularly devastating. Her security was gone. Naomi is still fortunate though because she has two sons.

Her sons Mahlon and Chilion also choose to sin. They marry Orpah and Ruth, women of Moab. Again, to marry a Moabitess was strictly forbidden by God, and the sons would have been well aware of this command. It is speculated by scholars that perhaps the sons die in war, but regardless of how the sons died, they die premature deaths. Because of the deaths of her sons and husband, Naomi, Orpah, and Ruth are left alone. Losing your spouse would be bad enough, but losing both sons would break any woman’s heart. She is alone, without security, and with two daughters in law from the land of Moab. It is fair to say that her circumstances seem bleak at best.

At some point Naomi receives word that the Lord has blessed Bethlehem with food, and she heads home. As the custom of the day was, Orpah and Ruth accompany her towards Bethlehem, here we begin to glimpse the love of Naomi. She did not want those women to suffer as she had. She urges them to stay in their homeland, remarry, and live happy lives. Think how much easier it would have been for Naomi to have both women with her. They could have both gleaned from the fields which would have supplied more of her needs. She does not do this; she lovingly chooses to send them back to Moab. She had personally suffered by moving from her homeland and did not wish this pain on her daughters in law. She did not wish on them the pain of never having a family. How often do we as women love others this way, especially when we are grieving? Often when we are sad or depressed we want others around us to sympathize or feel our pain. Our emotions can often cloud our vision but this is not the case with Naomi. She portrays a beautiful example of love in the Book of Ruth.

I believe there is another example of Naomi’s love in the first chapter of Ruth. We often give credit to Ruth for loving Naomi and staying with her. I agree that Ruth was sacrificial and loving to stay with Naomi. However, I tend to think Naomi had shown her love before this turning point. It makes sense to me that Naomi had been a wise and loving influence on Ruth during the 10 years they were in Moab together. I believe the influence of Naomi prior to leaving Moab may have compelled Ruth to stay with her. If Ruth did not already love Naomi and her God, why would she so eagerly stay with Naomi? Could it be that Ruth turns from her country and her gods because of the loving God she saw through Naomi’s example? I believe that to be all together possible.

Pain in our lives does not have to cloud over the love of God in our hearts. Personal suffering does not have to take over our love for people. Naomi’s love for God and people is quite evident throughout this book but especially in this first chapter. Who are you showing the love of God to, regardless of your own personal struggles? Are you allowing God to shine through your life even though you are burdened? I hope the example of Naomi will help you focus on God’s love toward you and in turn you can show that love to His people.

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Posted in Influence, Loss, Love, Ruth

Why I Write

April 11th, 2008

There has been some curiosity from friends as to why I write, so I figured I would give the explanation. I have never considered myself to be a writer. I started writing out of what I perceived to be necessity.

I paid only slight attention a couple years ago when a group of college homosexual activists were visiting conservative religious universities. It was no surprise that they came to Bob Jones and it didn’t really bother me. If they want to protest, be my guest.

I became very upset though, when I saw Christian people out protesting and preaching against the homosexual group. They were yelling in megaphones, had sandwich boards on that said “you’re going to hell”, and were in general giving a very poor impression of Christ. I was annoyed by this, but still unmotivated to say something.

Later in the week I was getting my hair done and my hairdresser brought the situation up to me. She was talking about how people at Bob Jones were so crass and rude. How she hated when the screamed at people and how much they hated homosexuals. I found it offensive and knew it was untrue. I have a degree from that school and when they are perceived as unloving by the community, I am as well. The thought was then with me that others in the Greenville area probably had the same idea. I did not know how a mother could speak up for the love of God, but the thought struck me; I could write a letter to the Editor.

I prayed and decided to write two letters. One letter was basically negative in tone. I was upset at the media’s coverage and at the protesters. Then I wrote letter which was focused on the love God had for homosexuals. I felt led to submit both letters, so that’s what I did. Honestly, I did not think either one would be printed.

I did not tell my husband that I had sent a letter to the paper. He is not as “out there” as I am and I knew he would find it a little weird. In hindsight, I probably should have told him, but at the time I just was not comfortable doing so. I figured there was no point in causing a disagreement if they were not going to publish them anyway. When the paper called and asked me if they could publish one of the letters, I then decided I had to tell Daniel. Luckily, although he wasn’t thrilled, he wasn’t mad either. Once he read both essays he was convinced, as I was that the negative letter would run. Since the paper didn’t tell me what they were going to do I was left in agony until I saw it in print.

The day it ran I was in shock; the positive letter had been printed. The newspaper had printed a completely positive letter about God’s love and Bob Jones. I was convinced that day that God could do whatever He wanted. I also decided that anytime He laid something on my heart that I would write it down for His use.

And that is why I write.

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Posted in Influence

The Story of Adam

April 3rd, 2008

Have you ever wondered how to be a light in a crooked and perverse nation? How can I be salt in the world around me? I was recently given a Bible study on this topic so I was forced to evaluate my life. It was difficult to sit down and think of specific instances of my being “light”. In fact I found the task incredibly tedious. Then, a very vivid memory popped into mind. I believe it was the Lord reminding me of His truth, and power to work through ordinary lives, even mine.

As a sophomore in high school, I was attending at a Christian school in name only. My parents and I came to the decision that I would go to public school the next year, and skip straight ahead to my senior year. This was a turning point in my life, and the setting of my story. Leander High School was a scary place. Four thousand teenagers, hundreds of teachers and one school; the only way to describe it is overwhelming. I did not know one person before beginning my senior year; I felt truly alone to make friends and find my way.

It is a complete paradigm shift for a teenager to go from Christian school to the public environment. It is a change the Lord used greatly in my life. I was forced to make choices about who I would be friends with, what groups I would join, who I would look up to, and who I would lead. I sat alone at lunch for the first 3 weeks of school. It was not pleasant, but I was scared to get too close to anyone. As time went by I got more and more involved in my choir and drama classes. I was in the school’s Broadway musical and had a blast. I made friends with a many kids from that production.

After opening night, there was a cast party. My parents of course said I could go, so I hopped in my truck, and headed out for a fun evening. Now I was a naïve teenage girl. I was thinking pizza, pop and games. Sure, I knew that drugs were around any school, but I had never actually seen them used, or been friends with anyone who used them. Little did I know that at this party I was about to be introduced to the pot culture that is rampant within our schools, both public and Christian.

I saw some of my friends go outside, and went out with them a few minutes later. Can you believe they were lighting a joint? I was shocked. What happened next was even more bizarre. Adam turned to me, in front a group of people and said “I don’t think I can smoke this right now, I feel like Jesus is watching me.” Surprisingly enough, some of the people agreed with him. I didn’t really know what to say, so I replied “He is.” I was floored, and left the party quickly after the incident. To my shame, I had never really evangelized anyone at that school, yet, Adam thought of Jesus when he saw me. At the time, I thought about it for a few days, but moved on with life. I suppose that one comment helped me to keep a clean testimony while attending Leander High School. To this day, I don’t know where Adam is, what he does, or if he ever heard the gospel.

This incident, while memorable, had not entered my mind for years, why now? I can only think the Lord brought it back to mind. My view of what happened has changed with age and maturity. I am humbled by the fact that the Lord would choose to use one teenage girl to show his grace and power. He uses anyone at anytime. He gives us experiences that we can remember later in life to remind us of what His grace has done. I think of the altars that Joshua and Moses built while wandering the wilderness. They were reminded of God’s help; I am reminded of God’s grace.

I am convicted by the fact that I could be doing so much more now as an adult. I may never get such specific feedback on my life on earth again, but I was blessed with an honest comment on my life. I have experienced first hand the power of remaining “blameless and harmless”. The Spirit allowed my one little light to shine enough that Adam could see Christ. It mattered very little to him what I said, what I did made the difference. As Christians we need to be consciously aware that our lives are the light God uses to illuminate his world. We never know who our lives will touch, but we are responsible to live in such a way that others are drawn to him.

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Posted in Influence