Well, in this case it’s a woman. Robin Carter is a wife, Sunday School teacher, Church leader, and teacher for Palmetto State E-cademy. She is seemingly average, but things are not always as they seem. If you saw Robin on the street she would look like any other girl, but just like Clark Kent, she is something far more heroic.

It all began when Robin and her Sunday School class at Simpsonville First Baptist Church became involved with a boys home. During this time they met and fostered relationships with many boys. One boy Trey* was full of life and energy when they first made contact with him. A normal, spunky, thirteen year old boy. In a few weeks time at their next meeting, she noticed that his color was bad, he looked sick, and that was further evidenced by tubes coming out of his neck. He went from healthy and normal, to deathly ill and on dialysis 3 times a week.

Trey needed a kidney or he would die.

That is when Robin felt a call in her heart and mind to get tested. She says she “knew it was the Holy Spirit” When I asked her why she donated she told me that she was “tired of ignoring the prompting of the Holy Spirit.”

So Robin responded to this prompting, and got a simple blood test to see if she was a match. As it would turn out she is type O positive which means she is a match for anyone’s blood type. She was off to a good start.

Then intense testing began including a trip to MUSC which included a test where they injected radioactive material into her bloodstream, then put her in a machine to study how her kidneys handled the material. Throughout this process Robin was praying for God’s will in her life.

After all this testing she was deemed a perfect match for Trey, and the date was set for her to donate her kidney to him.

Right before the surgery they ran a couple more tests and a donor advocate came into Robin’s room and told her that she didn’t have to do this. They could tell Trey that a test went wrong and that she was no longer a donor. In essence they give the living donor an out. Robin did not want an out. She wanted to help Trey. She had a peace that this was what she was to do.

The kidney donation was a success. Trey was almost instantly better. Robin uses the word “restoration” in describing the experience and that God is in the “restoration business.” Trey was physically restored to good health.

Just as important as Trey’s physical health is his spiritual health. He has not been merely told that God loves him, he has experienced it first-hand through Robin’s selfless act.

As Robin and I spoke more we came back to her motivation. I had the same question most people have that is “why?”

She told me that her “driving motivation was, in a weird way, when you do something radical it will earn you the right tell someone why.” The Gospel is the reason. She went on to say that too often “Christians want to demand our place at the table. When you do something unexpected then you have the invitation not the demand”.

It reminds of the verse that tells us to be light in the world. Too often we blend in too well with everyone else when we have the Light of the World in our life.

Robin knows the truth. What’s more is that she lives the truth. She told me how God gave us more than we need with two kidneys. She gave life to someone else with the abundance God gave her. The impact of her actions for one will have an effect on many.

Robin’s example is a challenge to the rest of us to watch and listen for God’s call on our life and to do what He prompts in our hearts. Many times we ignore this prompting, but we shouldn’t let logic override God’s call on our life. His plan is always best.

This story of Vashti and Ahasuerus’ sin is not an example of why women should always submit to their husbands.   It is not an example of how men should treat their wives.  It is an example of a worldly relationship.  As far as we know, Vashti–like her husband–does not know God.  This interaction between Vashti and Ahasuerus should not be seen as example of why women should submit to their spouse.  It is an example of a humanistic union and shows our depraved nature without Christ’s involvement in our families.  It is an example of a marriage where each party is serving self, and that is not God’s example.  Submission to God and each other is not part of the picture here. Whether we are married or not; the purpose of our relationships should be serving the others, not serving ourselves.

What I find so despicable in my own life is how often my marriage looks just like a worldly one.  I know you will find this hard to believe, but sometimes my husband makes me, well, mad.  Maybe it’s the way he put away his clothes, or maybe he wasn’t quick enough at something I thought he should be doing for me.  I’m mad at him because he has done me wrong.

MAD. MAD. MAD.

And how do I respond to these personal disappointments?  One time, I went upstairs and slammed the door to our bedroom.  He came up a while later and I told him that if he didn’t leave me alone I was going to go sit in the closet, and that’s what I did.  I sat in the closet with a book for 15 minutes.  Did I mention that I was mad?  I deserved my alone time.  He did me wrong!

Notice how many times I have used the word “me”.  If that isn’t telling I don’t know what is.  Need I point out the worldliness I brought into my Godly marriage?  Let’s see, anger, selfishness, mean spiritedness, pride and more than that I’m sure.  You get my point though.  Worldly ideals about what we deserve and how to respond to our relationships have a way of seeping into our daily lives and plans.

I should have responded with the fruit of the Spirit, with love, peace and gentleness. Instead we had a Vashti and Ahasuerus moment.

The distinct difference between our marriage and Vashti and Ahasuerus is that we have a loving, forgiving Lord who welcomes our confessions and helps us grow in grace. Saving grace is the remedy to  relationship characterized as worldly.

Keri: How did you go about promoting this in the community? What are some things people could do to get one of these started?

Michele: Well we advertised in the community. First of all we made posters they were a simple 8×10 poster and it had a pocket spot in it and it gave all the info of what we would be doing for the 3 days but they could also pull out a slip of paper  to take home with them with phone numbers    and reminder dates on there.

We put those everywhere from grocery stores, Walmart, the library, the laudrymat where people would be sitting there looking freely at advertisements on the board.

We also put ads in the newspaper with our logo and explained what was happening for the 3 days.

The last thing we did was we also put out banners in front of the church and in front of the park to bring people in said Love loud free carnival day and emphasized what was free to get people to come in.

Keri: What specific activities did you plan for those 3 days?

Michele: Well we had a lot of ideas when we did our brainstorming trying to pick out what we wanted to do. We originally got this idea from a church in Florida and just seen a lot of, they did it for a whole week. Their whole church did it, but we knew we couldn’t do that big of a project. So what they did all types of activities and we took what they did and took what our class thought our class could handle as a group. We narrowed it down to during the day and two of the days we delivered what we called love baskets. We went to police stations and fire stations in our community those contained all kinds of things they would be able to use. We went to places in the city, downtown, where our church was located and just walked into the library and told them how much we appreciated what they have done for the community. People were shocked that we would do that. That was two things we did during the day. Preparing and delivering those baskets.

>Thursday night we did a project, a carwash, we advertised it for widows and single moms. By the end of the night we pulled in any cars that we could. A storm had come through and once the storm ended we just started getting cars in. we met a lot of people through that. People were just shocked that we would just wash their car. People wanted to give us money and donate but we refused because we wanted them to understand that it’s just your night to get your car washed. We just want to love you tonight so we did the carwash on Thursday.

Friday night we did a dinner for people who had lost their jobs. We had advertised for that wanting people to come out. We had several families come and we had several of those peole come to church on Sunday. They just couldn’t believe it was free no strings attached at all. We did a comedy set up for them, entertainment, music, and then family fun and game night a bunch of games.

Saturday was our biggest day. That was a free carnival event in our city park. We ran a complete fully functioning carnival with inflatables, hot dogs stands and booths where kids could come in and play and win prizes at those.

All for free.

Keri: I keep hearing you say “No strings attached” You mean no money and you also mean no preaching right?

Michele: A lot of times even when we presented to them that we were providing the meal we could always feel or they would just flat out ask the question, you’re gonna preach to us right? We were like “No preaching. This is just fun Family fun night. No preaching involved, no presentation of anything. I think the people then relaxed and when we sat down and had dinner with them there was no pressure. I mean who gives anything for free like that anymore?  When we hear we’ll give you a free condo, what do you have to do? You have to sit through an hour and a half long presentation of what they are presenting to you. So I think people finally relaxed and put their guards down when they realized they were going to just have fun.

Keri: I think that is a hard boundary to get through. Because people automatically think there’s something “you’re going to evangelize me tonight, you’re going to call me forward they don’t know what to expect.

Michele: That is something, I love how my husband put it, he said, We were depositing love into their account and that there is going to be a day they need to draw on that we are hoping we planted even the tiniest seed I mean they had to see Christ’s love through what we were doing and we are hoping that the day they really need that or the day they decided that they need more of God that they will take remember what we did for them.

Keri: Love first leads to effective change in someone’s heart. Without that you are just trying to work a system or something like that. Will you do love loud again?

Michele: This isn’t the end of this project. We are going to do this on a monthly basis. We are going to pick an evening or a day and we are going to love loud in our community for that day. Anything that we have left over that was donated to us we have saved and we are going to use that continually throughout the months and maybe we will raise more money to do smaller project. It can go on, and it can be any extreme that you want. As small or as big as you want.

Keri: I love that you are going to keep doing this.  I’m sitting here thinking if everyone at church got involved. If everyone gave 5 dollars and donated their time.

Michele: What was amazing to us was even the day of our first love loud project a family came to the church that were living in their car and they had a son and a daughter and they had been kicked out of a moldy apartment. They were desperate and had nowhere to turn. The church ahs policies on a couple of things they can do to help them.  But because we had our love loud T-shirt, because we had stuff in our room we were able to reach out to them in a way that our church would not have been able to as a whole. We were able to give them chick-fil-a coupons so they each got a meal for that day. We had a little goodie basket that we gave them and just trying to help them and we told them where all the activities were going to be and they showed up at every single one of those activities. It was neat to watch. That would be neat to do once a month by going out to a business and telling them how much we appreciate them by doing something for them Or by doing something for kids at the park or whatever we picked for that night or day.

So we saved everything in hopes that we would be able to do that.

Keri: What is your advice for someone who is thinking of doing this in the future?

Michele: We learned a lot. It was hard to decide what kind of scale. We were dealing with our class of about 30-35, on average, who were committed to doing this. It takes a lot of time to prepare a head of tiem which we tried to do. We prayed over each and every aspect of it as it came up. Each day as we were preparing for that thing we had very specific prayer requests. We met once a month with meetings to keep everyone up and hand out assignments to people so that Geoff and I weren’t doing all of it. We really wanted our singles to do it. To help organize it.

My advice is that you have to really have to start by picking the days you want to do this. You’ve gotta make sure you are able to advertise in some way or who you are going to infiltrate that if it’s a small project. Get everybody involved and stay very organized. We had a budget and you have to stay within that budget. We had to stay on top of things. How much we were spending how much we were not.

Probably, the biggest advice we had were the things we struggled through the most were how we approached where we held things. For example, the dinner was held at our church gym. That probably was not the best venue. It automatically made people think that we were presenting something to them. Next time, we are going to make sure that is somewhere completely away, a restaurant or whatever we have to do to have that off the church grounds. I think organization is the key, having people in charge of each project, staying on budget, making sure you have the equipment you need for each project and of course praying over each and every one of those. Because that was the goal. Yes we really wanted to love loud in the community we wanted to let them know that we do love them. But if God isn’t 100% a part of that it doesn’t matter how much effort we put into that it’s just not going to function the way that it should have. When we look back over it we have gotten thank you notes from singles already. Just being able to organize something of this size and keep your cool if I should say ti that way, keep it all together somehow and not be yelling at each other out of frustration because it’s not going right. That was huge. I think that was because of the we had prayed through this; all together as a group, and Geoff and I, and separately about each one of these activities. We felt like God was a huge part of that. No matter what He was right there. Orchestrating every one of those details at our events, that’s huge
Keri: When we are talking about Love Loud, the singles, and about how the Bible talks about Single people- about how they can be so used of God, and it’s such a blessing to see you all lead singles in a way that they can actually use their extra time or money, or gifts and talents. Whatever that may be that they are not currently using in a family to serve God’s people and serve the family of our community. It’s just a blessing

 Michele: Amazing. Even for the singles themselves I think they feel limited. This was one of those projects where we tried to show them that you can take a huge project like this, you can do this, and guess what, when the church decides to do that you can be the leaders in this project. Because they are so capable, so willing, and so able, and have the desire to serve and so it is just a perfect match for the singles to step up and do that type of stuff.

My husband often points out my impatience. I cannot disagree with him on this point. I am the first to admit that I’m not patient. I think I use that as an excuse. You know, like something annoying happens and then I just blurt out “I’m just not patient.” It’s almost as if when I say it myself it’s less of a problem, because I’m so self aware. Even if I am “just that way” it doesn’t make my impatience good or right.

Patience in our lives is first manifested in our love for God.

Abraham and Sarah were in what we would consider to be a reasonable hurry to have kids. After all, we do have limited biological clocks. They had been obedient to God’s call on their lives to leave Ur. When God promised them a nation, they believed God would do it. Over time though, their faith began to wane and they began to become impatient. So they come up with a plan, Hagar. This was not God’s plan for them. He said Sarah would have the baby, but they just couldn’t wait anymore, it just didn’t make sense. Hagar made sense to them. Abraham and Sarah did not show their love for God through their patience. Instead, Abraham had a son that he loved but that would ultimately become enemies with Isaac. That is a heartbreaking scenario.

Love is patient.

God is patient.

The LORD is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

Even when we fail to show Him our love through our patience, He is still patient with us. Sarah did eventually have Isaac, and he was a great nation. God did not respond with annoyance or anger. He did not change His mind because of Abraham and Sarah’s sin. Instead He was faithful to His promise. He showed love to Abraham and Sarah even though their love was not as great. God’s promise to them was not contingent on their actions. God is faithful no matter what we do.

God shows us patience even though we never deserve it. He shows us this patience because He loves us. He does not respond in haste to our disobedience or our self sufficiency. He is not easily angered like impatient people, He tolerates and forgives our impatience and responds with patient love.

The greatest commandment Christ gave us while He was on Earth was to “love God and love our neighbor as ourselves.” God has given us His definition of love. If we want to show our love for God, we must be patient. Waiting on the Lord is not something we do because we feel like it. We wait on the Lord because we believe, trust and love Him.

In my own life I’m really struggling with this principle of patiently waiting on God. I want to love God with my whole heart and mind, but I’m constantly conflicted by what I think should be happening in my own life. I’ve been tired of waiting.

Maybe some of you are tired of waiting. Maybe you have been waiting on the Lord to provide you with a spouse. You might be suffering from infertility and are tired of waiting on God to provide a child for you. You might be waiting on a job in the field you know the Lord has called you to, and you are questioning His call on your life that you were completely sure about a few months prior.

If you are growing impatient with God’s timing and wanting to take things into your own hands; I encourage you to fast, pray, and seek His face. Waiting might be part of His perfect plan for your life.

Show God your love for Him by patiently waiting.

However in the past few weeks I’ve been analyzing my love. Is it really what God asks of me? Or is it just what I think I should be doing. Is it more than words?

Be still and know that I am God is something I often find myself “too busy” to do. Yet silent meditation on the truth of God’s Word is how the Lord often reveals Himself to us. It takes a conscious decision on my part to be still and quiet in my heart.I’ve been convicted that my love for others is not as real as it should be. After all, the Bible tells us that without love our actions are worthless.

If the Spirit is actually working through our lives, Paul tells us that the first fruit of that Spirit will be love. So I’ve put myself through the biblical test and failed. I took 1 Corinthians 13 and put my name in the place of love to see if this passage could describe me.

the Love Test
Keri is patient and kind;
Keri does not envy or boast;
Keri, is not arrogant or rude.
Keri, does not insist on her own way;
Keri, is not irritable or resentful;
Keri, does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Keri’s love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.

In analyzing my own actions I’ve realized that I am not very loving. I may say or think that I am, but without these actions to back it up, my love is not real.

I was discouraged at the end of this test. But that feeling quickly turned to gratitude for a God who is all these things. God is all these things and more. He is actually love. He has patiently waited on us to do his will. He has reached down with loving kindess to save us.

With the discovery of my own problems in this area I’ve started to do some actual work, starting at the top of the list with patience. It is not enough to know we are lacking in an area and to dismiss it as “the way I am.” We can ask the Lord for help and work towards changing our hearts. So that’s what I’m doing. I encourage you to take the love test and ask the Lord to reveal areas where your life is lacking real love.
I hope this series will encourage you in your own walk with the Lord.

From the Biblical stigma of the “barren” wife to the modern, more polite terminology of “infertility”, issues with childbearing have affected women for as long as there has been time. However, it seems to me that there is more of an open discussion of the topic in recent years. Perhaps it’s due to the medical advances in the area or more to the lessening social stigma associated. In any case, if you aren’t personally suffering from this problem you probably know someone who is. I’m going to call the woman in my story Sharon. Sharon has decided she wants to have children, she’s always wanted to be a mother and so she and her husband begin trying. Although this baby is desperately wanted, something isn’t working right. So she continues trying for years. She has decided its “baby time” yet her body just won’t perform the way she wants it to. After months or years of trying, Sharon goes to fertility specialists, and all of a sudden the process of having a baby has turned into a mission. She begins the process of shots, treatments, and a whole host of other unromantic things. In fact the pursuit of a baby begins to take over her life. She follows the entire doctor’s advice and month after month she is disappointed. She begins to question God, “Why won’t my body work? How can teenagers who don’t want babies get pregnant so easily and I can’t?” Nothing seems fair and all of a sudden marriage becomes a struggle. Her self-worth begins to diminish. Her faith begins to run dry and she is exhausted by her seemingly fruitless pursuit. Months turn into years and the cycle of stress continues. I don’t know how to encourage you if you are going through this struggle except to offer some comfort from Scripture.

Of course, there is more than one example of this woman from the Bible. In 1 Samuel we read about Hannah. This poor lady was loved by her husband but had no child. In this culture not having children was viewed as a curse. In fact the Bible tells us that the LORD had closed her womb. Not only was she heavy with the burden of having no children, her husband’s other wife continuously berated her about the fact that she was infertile. The passage goes on to say that this went on year after year. Hannah becomes increasingly heartsick. Her spirit is so wrought with grief that Eli thinks she is drunk, when she is only praying! She wants a child so desperately that she makes a vow to God. She promises to give her son to the Lord if she can just have give birth to him.

Of course you know the rest of the story, the Lord grants her wish and she gives birth to Samuel. Hannah keeps her promise and gives him to the Lord’s work when he is quite small. Samuel grows up to be one of the greatest leaders in Israel and Hannah is subsequently blessed with more children. This story is not only encouraging to women who have struggled to have children because the outcome is positive. It also encourages that the Lord’s timing is perfect. If Hannah would have had a son immediately in her marriage, she would not have promised to give him to God. Had she not promised to give Samuel to God, Israel would have missed Samuel’s distinct leadership. There is hope in the waiting. Hope that the child you long for will be born for a specific purpose and time; it just might not be according to your plan.

Another example of a fertility struggle would be Elisabeth. Here is a woman who with her husband had lived a blameless and righteous life before God. Yet they were looked on with scorn because they had not conceived a child. They grow old and the hope for having a son is lost. Can you imagine her surprise when she finds out she is pregnant? Not only is she giving birth to a child, but he will be a special son. Her son John became the fulfillment of prophecy. He will be filled with the Holy Ghost and prepare the way of the Lord. You know what I find fascinating? She led a righteous life even without children, even though she was scorned by her community as being some kind of sinner. The fact that she did not have the validation of a child did not stop her from serving the Lord. She was faithful. I believe the Lord rewarded her patience and she was able to experience a special blessing from the Lord in His perfect timing. She was greatly used to bring John the Baptist into the world and raise him. Her long life of wait was necessary for God’s plan.

In the same passage, the angel speaks to Mary the Mother of Jesus and tells her she will conceive a child. He goes on to tell her that Elisabeth is pregnant even in her old age. Then we find a verse many quote, but I never realized its context: For with God nothing shall be impossible. I hope you believe that, and I hope you find joy in your life today.

I wish I could end this article with an emphatic answer to your fertility, but I can’t. I can however tell you that the Lord has a purpose for you today and for the rest of your life. If He wants you to have a baby, nothing will stop Him. If you can’t have children, maybe the Lord has called you to adopt, or dedicate more time to the Body of Christ. Whatever His plan is, live your life in the fullness of His Grace and Love today.

Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.

I feel so sorry for Hagar. She was a slave and had no control of her life at all. She did not ask to be Abraham’s concubine, her master, Sarah forced her. So this woman became his concubine (similar to a wife). As his concubine, she becomes the mother of Abraham’s first son, Ishmael. As a result, she is despised by the woman who forced her on Abraham.

The first time Hagar is left alone is found in Genesis 16, it is because she escapes Sarah. At this point, she is fearful for her life. While she is at a spring an angel of the Lord finds her and tells her to go submit to her master, Sarah. Even though Hagar was in a miserable situation, God told her to go and submit and she obeyed. Sometimes in a relationship, we don’t want to submit, we want to flee because it is too hard. Yet when God tells us to submit we must do so. I find it striking that even though Hagar is not an Israelite, God loves her, protects her, and even blesses her through a powerful son. She submitted, God protected, and God blessed.

The story of Hagar has a second part found in Genesis 21. Sarah does eventually give birth to a son, Isaac. He is the one through whom Abraham’s line will be blessed. After he is weaned, Abraham throws a big party, and Sarah sees Ishmael having a good time. She insists that Abraham send Hagar and Ishamael away. Sarah does not want them around. She wants Hagar and Ishmael out of her life. God permits this by telling Abraham to do as Sarah says. He does so with a heavy heart but Sarah and Abraham abandon Ishmael and Hagar. Hagar is effectively divorced from Abraham, but again God protects her, loves her, and renews His promise to make Ishmael a great nation. Even through divorce, God never fails

In the 1 Peter 3:1, Peter addresses a situation where a woman is married to someone who does not obey the Word. He tells her to stay with her spouse and show him the Gospel through her good works. The fact that a husband may not be led by Christ, is not a biblical excuse for a wife to leave or treat him poorly. She is to stay and win him with her goodness. That verse is a hard pill to swallow, but true because God’s Word commands it.

Paul also shares thoughts on divorce in 1 Corinthians 7, and tells women that if the husband leaves, and is an unbeliever, the wives should let them go. For the women I know who have dealt with divorce or separation, the loss of their husband is extremely painful because it is the death of their love. The one they trusted and wanted to spend their life with has left them.It is devastating.

Now, I know that this situation is not exactly the same as a divorce in our society. I don’t know any families who have a slave or a concubine. What I do think is that just like Hagar was abandoned by her provider and family, so have some women I know whose husbands have divorced them. These women like Hagar have been left to fend for themselves, but like Hagar, God has not forgotten them. God watches and loves them continually, His love is never failing.

I don’t know the circumstances of the women who read this blog, but I’m sure some are in a similar situation. Either they are in a relationship where they want to run or they have already become divorced. Whatever the situation though, there is hope in Christ. He loves you and wants the best for you.